If I had a choice in the matter, I'd want my reason for being sent to hell to be lustful thoughts, especially during religious services.

Make a note of that, God.

Denim skirts need to be eradicated.

All of my good ideas belong to someone else.

With age comes better presents

I am infinitely glad my friends and I have grown out of the "giving shitty body sprays and lotions sets" as gifts.

I have thrown out so much product.

More video

This almost had a slight potential to be sort of cool.
And then it started playing.

I finish faster when I'm alone.

Stew on that for a while.

Melancholy.

That's a good word, too.